Camper refuses to bring daughter-in-law Jane on family kayaking trip: '[My son] has told me he can’t go if she isn’t invited, and I stuck to my decision'

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Nov 22, 2025 3:00 PM EST

A family kayaking trip is dividing a family after one woman was told she absolutely cannot come along. 

Camping makes for a lovely break from the ordinary humdrum of life. You take a few days off, pack up the car, and head out early in the morning with your family in the back and a kayak strapped to the roof of your car. You and your family can get in touch with nature and breathe in that fresh air — what could be better? 

This family has made a tradition out of their kayaking trip, and it sounds awesome. It's only a 3-day/2-night trip, but as this person detailed, they will kayak to the first site on day 1, sleep there, and then paddle to the next campsite the 2nd day before heading back on day 3. People of all ages are invited! But there's one very important rule that must be followed, and if you don't meet the requirements, this camping trip isn't for you. 

While commenters supported this person, I wonder if there's some middle ground here. Just because the DIL, Jane, can't attend this trip, doesn't mean that she should be totally barred from family vacations. Maybe the next trip can be at a campground with a log cabin. Perhaps Jane could drive between the destinations, meeting the family members at the campsites each day. Or maybe this person and Jane start an entirely new type of family vacation that they both enjoy. There are so many possibilities that all they need to do is put their heads together and come up with their next new family tradition. 

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  • 01
    Blonde woman in blue shirt smiles, in background an older man wearing lifevest paddles kayak
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+
  • 02
    I am an outdoors person, and before the weather gets too cold I do a camping trip. We kayak down the the river make camp on the bank. It is a lot of fun and is a two night trip.
    via u/Fit-Information-6655
  • 03
    I have done this with all of my kids and have started to invite their spouses, some show up and some don't. (Not everyone likes camping). The river we kayak on can get a fast and choppy in places. I have a strict no kids under 10 rules and that they have to good
    via u/Fit-Information-6655
  • 04
    swimmers. This bring me to my sons wife (Jane- fake name) Jane can not swim at all. She never learned as a child and she still hasn't learned as an adult. The most I have ever seen her do is go into the shallow end in a pool.
    via u/Fit-Information-6655
  • 05
    My son wanted to invite Jane and I told him no, that this is safety concern becuase she can not swim. Jane was very upset about it and told me it would be fine. I told her no again and if she learns how to swim she can come next year
    via u/Fit-Information-6655
  • 06
    Jane is upset and my son is also upset. He has told me he can't go if she isn't invite and I stuck to my decision. He is also no happy with me either
    via u/Fit-Information-6655
  • 07
    Edit I think some people are confused. We kayak to the first campsite, sleep, kayak to the next sleep and kayak to the final spot and head home
    via u/Fit-Information-6655
  • 08
    Impressi... NTA. I kayak every year and am a decent swimmer. No way would I do fast and choppy in a kayak, even with a life vest, especially if I couldn't swim AT ALL.
    via u/Fit-Information-6655
  • 09
    Blonde woman in life vest smiles while paddling orange kayak, behind her a man paddles an orange kayak
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 10
    "told me it would be fine." She can't guarantee that. And if it's NOT FINE, it goes south 0-100 real fast.
    via u/Fit-Information-6655
  • 11
    Foreign... NTA I understand him bowing out if his wife isn't going, but this is a matter of basic safety. Why is he willing to risk his wife's life?
    via u/Fit-Information-6655
  • 12
    Still-De... NTA at all. I had a lovely young coworker who grew up outdoorsy, great swimmer. Her kayak flipped and she drowned. Safety will ALWAYS come first.
    via u/Fit-Information-6655
  • 13
    Okey Do... NTA. You might try "sorry son, but I like your wife and don't want to be responsible for her death."
    via u/Fit-Information-6655
  • 14
    Woman with blond hair, blue shirt, and blue jeans smiles while sitting on orange chair
    via Meritt Thomas on Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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family drama daughter in law in laws family
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